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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849110">twisted (yelena x fem reader)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbles05/pseuds/Bubbles05'>Bubbles05</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Timeskip, Yelena is a queeen, idek what this is, pls this is so bad, tried to make yn as gender neutral as possible, yelena is so hot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:08:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbles05/pseuds/Bubbles05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Y/N is a part of the Marleyan army and volunteers to go on a mission to the Island of Paradis. But when Yelena, a mysterious cold woman starts making them question everything they ever knew, their entire world turns upside down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Yelena/Reader, yelena/fem reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>579</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok so like I need more Yelena content so I wrote my own, pls don't come at me for the incompetency this is just for fun. This story starts off at about chapter 106 of the manga and there will be manga spoilers, anyways enjoy :))</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You could just see the coast of the island of Paradis as the ship tread through the grey waters of the ocean. You had seen it before, the ocean, you didn’t understand the beauty, infact, it frightened you, such a vast expanse of water with unknown depths. You looked into the water from the railing on the ship as the island moved towards you. It was grey like the cloudy sky, it really was an island full of devils, such a place where the sun didn't even shine. Yet you couldn’t help but sympathize with the slaughter, you didn’t even know why you signed up for this mission in the first place, perhaps you wanted to see for yourself if the Eldians deserved to die for nothing. Yet that never bothered you before, carrying out missions for Marley meant merciless slaughter anyways. </p><p>You sighed, resting your head on the railing and squeezing your eyelids shut, trying to rid yourself of these thoughts. You perked your head as you heard the creaking of the wooden floorboards, followed by light footsteps. Deciding that it didn’t matter who it was, you shut your eyes and rested your head, tuning out the footsteps that were increasing in proximity. The footsteps halted beside you, the empty silence filled by the sloshing of the water. You turned your head to the side to be met with a pair of cold grey eyes. </p><p>“Fancy seeing you here Y/N” she said with a smile on her face, it didn't quite reach her eyes. You couldn’t lie, her smile frightened you a great deal, you’d seen her around this division but never had she very hinted a smile to anyone. She rested her arms on the railing, and turned her head away, to stare at the water ahead of her. Her short blonde hair blowing away under her helmet, she looked majestic, but in the most frightening way possible. Her smile stayed plastered on her face, she fascinated you. “What do you want” you questioned.To be frank, the woman scared you, she was known as Yelena. She always had a cold demeanour around her and you’d heard about her heartless antics before. “What, did my intrusion interrupt your philosophical epiphanies or something?” She asked, losing the smile on her face which sent a shiver down your spine. </p><p>You scoffed at her question, not knowing how to answer, there was just something about her grey eyes that paralyzed you, was it fear, was it respect? “I’m talking to you, you know, not the damn fish in the sea” She continued. Your body froze at the sound of her voice, so soft yet menacing.</p><p> “What do you want me to say, we’re about to go kill the supposed demons that have been a threat to all of Marley for our entire lives, at least that’s what we’ve been told, it's for peace.” You replied nonchalantly. </p><p>Yelena’s calm veil flickered for just a moment,“ Is that so? So you think the devils on the island are innocent?” She pushed on. </p><p>“Who knows, I mean that’s never stopped Marley from getting what they want and expanding the empire.” </p><p>“So I walked in on a classic case of moral conflict” She muttered to herself, as she turned her body over, resting her back and the backs of her elbows on the railing. She tilted her head up and sighed, “ Now tell me, why did you join the military if you couldn't handle such ambiguity in morals, I mean tell me who’s right and wrong in a war?” She asked, closing her eyes. You couldn’t help but admire her cold beauty, the way she glowed even if the grey clouded the sky, she opened her eyes and turned her head towards you, waiting for an answer. The truth was, you joined the military to get away from your parents in Marley, there wasn’t anything remotely wrong with them, it's just that they were exceptional and you weren’t. They brought honour to your family name, whereas you weren’t an idiot, but not a prodigy either, you joined at a feeble attempt in giving one last thing to your parents, but also to leave and hopefully die, or at least that's what you told yourself. </p><p>“I joined because I want to know what the world truly is, is Marley justified to kill all these people in the name of peace, or is it just a show?” You said you didn’t know where all that had come from. Yelena tilted her head in curiosity, “I see” she whispered quietly as she returned to staring at the sky. “I feel like there might be a storm today,” she said with a glassy look in her eyes, “What do you think?” She asked with the same dazed expression. You were surprised by the sudden change in the flow of the conversation, you had never expected a conversation with the fabled Yelena would go like this. “Maybe” you whispered, still taken back as you stared into the greywater among you, maybe there really would be a storm today. You turned your gaze to the ever-approaching island and then looked back at the tall woman beside you. </p><p>“Is that all? I expected more as I intruded on the little soliloquy you seemed to be having in your mind” She asked, you could hear the yearning in her voice, she genuinely wanted to know your thoughts. But why you out of all people, you had no friends, you hadn’t bothered to make any, you weren’t special in any way either, you were kind of just there, the perfect mindless soldier. Ignoring her question, “Why bother to understand me anyway, why are you even talking to me?” You asked defensively. Without hesitating, she opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by the yell of a man. </p><p> “Yelena! We are approaching the Island, the commander calls for you” He called. You lifted your head from the railing to see who it was. Swiftly, she lifted her elbows off of the railing, you finally realized how tall she really was, it added to her unforgiving appearance. She took two steps but stopped at you, bending down to your ear and grazing your chin ever so slightly with her fingertips. “You intrigue me” She purred and continued towards the man. You turned around to see her walk away, there was something about this woman, something that might just change your entire perception of this twisted world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright please put suggestions and feedback in the comment, thank you to everyone who has read the story so far:))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You turned back to the swirling waters as you heard the footsteps recede into the lower decks of the boat. Some soldiers were making their way onto the top decks to make preparations. Suddenly, there was a bright yellow flash, followed by an overpowering gust of hot air, you were unable to see anything amidst the yellow light as you felt the boat tip backwards. You grabbed onto the now slippery railing, the front of the boat was lifted into the air as you were sprayed with the salty mist of the ocean, you shut your stinging eyes, wondering what in god's name was going on. The spray of water seemed to halt as you opened one eye, the green rays glinting from the eyes of a monster, a titan. You felt your hands slip from the railing as you tumbled to the back end of the boat, feeling the bars of the railing hit hard on your back. You heard the yelling of the other crewmates to hold on to the bars. You sat there, dazed at what was going on as you felt the boat move through the air, followed by an ear-splitting thud. </p><p>You got up as your blurred vision started to clear, adjusting the helmet on your head, you gathered at the side of the boat along with the other volunteers to see a person standing at a cliff near the boat. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen of Marley! Welcome to the Island of Paradis!” they yelled. They introduced themselves as Hange and invited everyone to a cup of tea. You were confused, did they not want to eradicate all of Marley for what they’ve done to them? You watched as Hange brought forth a Marleyan soldier, named Niccolo, the commanding officer scowled. The commanding officer refused to bend to the will of Hange and cocked his gun at them, suddenly there was a big bang, and the commander was found on the floor with blood pooling at his head.</p><p> A tall lean figure was standing there, holding a gun to the head of the commanding officer. “Put down your weapons” She commanded. The other soldiers starred in complete shock, one lashed out, but was restrained by another man, you believed his name was Onyankopon. The Paradisians on the Islands gaped at the events that took place as Yelena declared that she would accept Hange’s invitation to talk things over and have a cup of tea. You watched as the woman strode, followed by Onyankopan into the lower deck to gather baggage, the other soldiers started to follow as you watched the wood stain into a dark burgundy. </p><p>You decided to go to the lower decks too and followed the rest of the few scattered soldiers who were still on the top deck. Some of the soldiers were already making their way onto the mainland as you descended down the steps. You turned left to your own barracks to collect your meagre personal belongings, it only consisted of a journal and a ring, a family heirloom. </p><p>“So soldier, what did you think of the stunt I pulled?” You heard a sly voice from behind. You whipped your head around to see Yelena, leaning against the door frame, with an unreadable expression on her face. To be honest, you did not know how to react at all, you didn’t know what to follow, who was right, who was wrong, your head spun from the confusion. “ I think your stunt was pathetic.” You replied coldly. With this you were able to clearly shake her cold mask “ Is that so, and why may I ask do you think that?” She asked with a cold edge in her tone. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “ Is this why you asked me if the Eldians on the Island deserved to die? Who are you to bring judgment on them? You may be right or you may be wrong, but you don’t have the right too, you put all our soldiers into a huge dilemma now too, so you’re pathetic, doing this for your own gain if you wanted to save the Eldians so much you should’ve never joined the military.” You declared angrily. It infuriated you, maybe the Eldians didn't deserve to die, but why does she get to play hero and saviour, why does she get to decide, she didn’t deserve to, someone who could just kill a man did not deserve to make that decision. “ I guess that moral crisis is just your personality trait then” She whispered as she took slow steps towards you. “You’re right, I don’t have the right to choose, but I did and I will anyways, so let me make this easy for you.” She continued as she walked towards you, she was majestic, you unconsciously took steps backwards, as your back thudded softly against the wall. Her face was inches away from your face as she bent down to meet your eyes. “You intrigue me Y/N, don't make me do something I’ll regret, I’d hate to see the light leave the eyes of your pretty little face because of me, you know” She whispered as she caressed your cheek. Your body was frozen against the wall. “ I’m going to make this decision for you Y/N, I’ll spare you the troubles of moral ambiguity, you will listen to me and do whatever I tell you, or else I will not hesitate to end you.” She continued in a low, slow voice, her fingertips still grazing the side of your cheek. “ What makes you think that I’d still obey you, I don't give a damn about my life anyway, go ahead and kill me, I don’t care about your plan, I make my own decisions.” You gulped back in the most assertive tone you could muster. “I thought you’d say that, this is why you interest me Y/N, I won’t kill you for the time being, but if you get in my way, let’s just say I never miss.” She replied, standing straight while taking out her gun to twirl it in her hand. You didn’t dare move a muscle, you didn't have the guts, skill or speed to pull a move and kill her but quite frankly, you didn’t want to kill her either, you didn’t know why. </p><p>“Yelena, are you terrorizing another soldier, we have to get going!” A voice called, sounding like that man, Onyankopon. She turned her head to him and then looked back at you, shooting you a cold look, as she walked away from you, leaving you in your darkroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ok so, thank you guys for all the love I've been receiving on this fic, it truly means a lot to me, I will try to update as soon as possible, hope you guys enjoy :))</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You sat on the corner of the bed inside the tent that you were issued. There were a few other soldiers in your tent but you ignored their presence. The moments on the boat continued to play in your head, how many people were in on this plan, when was this planned and most importantly, did you agree with what was happening. You sat there, holding your helmet in your lap, deliberating. Yelena was right, you were confused, you didn’t know what to do and frankly didn’t feel like you really had a choice in it either. You could go back to Marley, warn them and bring honour to your family like you wanted too, but there were a few problems with the plan, how on Earth were you going to escape the island, it was virtually impossible. Even though that was an option, something bothered you, did you really want Marley to get the upper hand here? If Marley were to get a hold of the founder and attack titan’s, God knows what they’d do, but the question was, did you really want that. You dropped your head into your hands as you thought about this, all these innocent people did not deserve to die for Marley’s gain. The Marleyan military was a spearhead in this world, but only out of greed, but not greed for peace, it was greed for power. </p><p>You sighed, wishing the world wasn’t as cruel as it was, whose side were you on, who was the enemy, what were you supposed to do. You didn’t think the Eldians were devils that deserved to die, they're all just subject to oppression by the Marleyans, but did that make Marley the enemy, they want to kill the Eldians out of fear and power. It was common human nature to fear power and desire it, or else war would not exist. Your head spun, not knowing who’d side you were on, you were here just to die so you didn't have to face the life that was expected of you. Ever since you were young, you were taught that the Eldians were the root of all the problems, and went on in life, never once questioning it. It was only during your first deployment in the war in one of the Middle Eastern units did you realize that the rest of the world was not what Marley had made it out to be. You saw families being torn apart, innocent people being slaughtered, but that was the cold truth about war. Unable to face the horrors of what the military was doing to the rest of the world, you turned your attention to the Eldians on Paradis. You never truly believed that they were the enemy, but by the looks of it, they seemed to be the ones who deserved this brutality the most. </p><p>You took your head out of your lap as you fidgeted with the ring your hand, you missed home, but it was also the place you dreaded the most, so much that you would rather be on the front lines of a war. You sat there blank, all your thoughts buzzing through your brain, the soldiers in the tent told you it was time for dinner, but you told them off absentmindedly, you weren't in the mood for any food at the moment. Soon you were the only person left in the tent. You lay on your bed, draping your forearm over your eyes. </p><p>“Have you made up your mind yet?” A voice asked. You bolted up from your bed to see a tall figure opening the drape of the tent, it was Yelena. “What is it with you and being obsessed with my moral crisis?” You shot back. Yelena made her way into the tent and walked towards your bed, taking a seat beside you. “What is my fault that morally grey people interest me?” She asked mockingly. You scoffed in annoyance, you didn’t want to deal with this woman at the moment, she was the one who was causing you all of this trouble, you could've mindlessly died during a battle for Marley and reached your goal, but she just had to come and ruin your entire perspective of the world. No, ruined wasn't the right word, more like total self-realization, something you believed you could’ve done without. </p><p>“What is your plan exactly?” You replied. </p><p>“Well we haven’t completely formulated a plan, however, we are cooperating with the Eldians for the time being to help them, we are now the anti-Marley volunteers and will fight for the freedom of Eldia.” </p><p>“But why, what makes you think that they aren’t the enemy, what makes you think that they are justified and deserve to be free?” </p><p>She stared at the ceiling of the washed-out white drapes of the tents. “I don’t know, but they are people nonetheless, that should be freed, plus, Marley isn’t exactly in the right here, I won’t hesitate to kill those who are against this, this is the only way to rid the world of this war.” She replied, her deadened eyes seem to start glowing as she said this. “Then you should kill me” you muttered under your breath, redirecting your gaze back to your hands. You felt two hands grab the sides of your face  as they directed her eyes into yours. “I only threatened you because I want you on my side, I won’t kill you, I don’t have to, I know you’ll play right into my hands, I don’t care how suicidal you are, I’m not letting you die.” She brought her face closer to yours, her lips were dangerously close to yours, as she moved towards your ear, “ I’m not finished with you yet, there’s so much more I want from you, so don’t you dare die on me yet.” She whispered in your ear. To have a voice like hers should be illegal, the devil was muttering poisonous words in your ear, words that were beginning to change everything. Maybe Yelena was right, maybe you should succumb to the temptation, maybe you already had.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ok, so I'm tryna to update as soon as I can but thank you so much for the love :))</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yelena moved back to where she was sitting on your bed, with a slight smirk on her face. She got up, gesturing for you to follow her. You got up shakily, your legs were numb, you didn’t quite know how you felt about this woman, she was intriguing, intimidating and beautiful at the same time. She held out her hand for you to take, hesitantly you took it, interlacing her long skinny fingers with yours as she led you out of the tent. You were still in a daze with what had happened over the course of such a short period of time. She led you quietly to the dining area, it was quite empty, barely anyone was there. </p><p>She grabbed a plate and put food on it silently as you stood there, watching her work, you didn’t even decide to get any food, although you were hungry, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat. When the world was so complicated, how could you just go on with doing something as simple as eating? With a plate in her hand, she led you to one of the tables to sit with her as she put the plate down in front of her, not letting go of your hand. You placed yourself beside her, absentmindedly marvelling at how soft her hands were. She slid the plate towards you as you sat, “eat” she said. Atakenback, you gaped at her as she shot you a soft smile. “Eat” she insisted again. You glanced down at your plate of food, thinking about how exhausting it would be to eat and reluctantly grabbed a spoon. </p><p>You slowly started shovelling food into your mouth, it was unlike anything you had before, it was absolutely exquisite. Yelena rested her elbow on the table and held her head in her hand as she watched you eat. Normally, you would find this very invasive and weird, yet you liked this, someone actually taking an interest in you and taking care of you, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. You ate in silence as the sky started to darken, most of the soldiers were sitting at the beach or back in their quarters. </p><p>“So, tell me Y/N, do you have a lover back at home?” She asked casually. You choked on your food and went into a coughing fit, not anticipating that question. How were you supposed to tell her that you had no friends, let alone a lover? She quickly got up and got you a glass of water, and sat there drinking it. “Not quite the reaction I was looking for but judging based on your reaction, you must’ve been very popular with the boys.”  She replied as you sat there, drinking your water. You scoffed at the irony of the statement, she raised an eyebrow at you. “What, are my assumptions wrong?” She asked in disbelief. “Please I’ve never even had a friend before, let alone a lover.” You replied. “Oh,”  she replied and redirected her gaze down to the table. “Since you asked me, it's your turn, do you have a lover?” You asked, breaking the silence. “Please, I look at a person and they immediately avoid me, most people fear me so romance doesn’t even have a chance, but nevertheless, I’ve never felt that type of affection for another since my entire life..” she trailed off. You waited for her to continue on but realized that was all she had to say.   “Well if you go around threatening to kill people, they would obviously fear you.” You said. “It is my fault people are so disobedient if only people would comply.” She joked back. You gave her a small smile, trying to remember the last time you did for anything, it made you feel warm in your chest. </p><p>“You know, you’re pretty when you smile Y/N.” Yelena said looking into your eyes. “Oh, uh- th-thanks.” You replied looking into the contents of your cup. You’d never really received many compliments before and didn’t know how to respond, but it made you feel good, someone actually appreciated some aspect of you, even if it was a small minuscule one that is usually overlooked. It made you feel special, but you couldn’t let that distract you because you weren’t special, you were the mindless soldier and you could not let yourself think that you were any more than that. </p><p>The both of you sat there in silence as you managed to finish your entire plate, the sky darkening even more. You decided to light some more lanterns and add some light as you went back to the bench to sit with Yelena. “ Uh, I- thank you for accompanying me to dinner.” You stuttered in a desperate attempt to break the awkward silence between you two. “Don’t mention it” she said. The soft light of the lanterns lighting up her ghostly face was an odd contrast, the way her sharp jaw cut the warmth of the light but made her look like she was glowing. Mesmerized by her cold beauty, you continued to stare at her, resting your head in your hand, mimicking her, the both of you just looking. You wondered what was going on in her mind, how she was able to overcome her doubts, how she was so special. You longed to feel that way, special, to have people rely on you, idolize you, hate you even. You would never compare to the woman in front of you, maybe that's why you longed to rebel against her wishes so strongly, no, that couldn’t be it, you were sure you had a moral compass, or where you were just saying that to justify your inaction and inability to choose.</p><p>“What is it Y/N, you’ve gone all quiet on me.” She asked. “ Oh nothing, just thinking about today, never thought everything would change so quickly.” You replied in truth. It did feel that way, everything had happened so fast, you were completely confused as to how you should feel and what you should do. “Listen, I have a meeting with Hange and the other Paradisians tomorrow, you are welcome to attend if you’d like.” She offered. You thought about it, maybe meeting the island devils would allow you to get some perspective on what to do. “Sounds good to me.” You replied. “Anything for you and your little twisted moral crisis.” She huffed under her breath. You scoffed and suppressed a smile through your teeth at her comment. </p><p>You decided it was time to call it a night and got up to say goodnight and head off to your quarters, however, before you could utter a single word, she got up and grabbed your hand once again, pulling you with her in the direction of your tent. Once you both got to the opening, faced you and searched your eyes. “You really should smile more often you know.” She whispered. Her hand was still holding yours, “ Don’t die on me Y/N, good night.” She said as he dropped your hand and started to walk in the other direction. You were dazed by the whole interaction. You’d never thought meeting this infamous woman would ever go like this, you never thought you’d find yourself falling for her, in that very moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright y'all, sorry for not updating sooner this week, I've been busy with school, but I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm going to try and pace it a bit faster starting the next chapter and might even add some smut, but thank you to everyone who has read this story so far, feedback is very much appreciated, enjoy :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You flopped onto your bed in the dimly lit tent and stared at the bottom of the top bunk. You started to count the number of wooden planks to get your mind under control, all you could think about was Yelena’s pale complexion cutting through the warm yellow light. The way she held her head in her hand while her elbow rested on the table, you wondered what it would feel like to be held in her arms. You were captivated by her alluring aura. You grumbled at the sudden shift in your thoughts, it had only been one day, but you wanted to know more about her, you wanted her to trust you. You lay there with your thoughts, as the other soldiers slowly started to trickle back quietly into the tent in small groups and turned onto your side, facing the wall made by the tent's curtain. Suddenly all the fatigue from the events of the day settled into your muscles, and the thoughts in your head were silenced by a deep slumber. </p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>You awoke to the sound of shuffling around the tent and saw your comrades getting ready for the rest of the day, you grumbled wishing the night would’ve stayed longer. Unsteadily, you got up, overcome by dizziness and clothed for the day. After getting ready you made your way to breakfast, fatigue slightly lingering at the back of your head. The soldiers and the Paradisians were all clumped in different groups. Your eyes searched the room, looking for an empty table or one with the least amount of people. As you scanned the area, you spotted, at the corner of the dining tent sitting by herself. Slowly, you made your way towards the table to greet her. She was dressed in a collared white button-down with a black blazer, pants and flats. She looked more authoritative than as she did in her soldiers uniform, radiating power with her stern gaze. </p><p>“Oh, how lovely for you to join me this morning, soldier” She greeted, as you seated yourself in front of her. “How’s your moral crisis going?” She asked, and watched as your calm facade fell, shooting you a smirk. You realized that today was the meeting with Hange and the rest of the scouts, maybe today you would gain some clarity in this stupid haze of thoughts.</p><p> “I’d prefer you not to bring it up so early in the morning.” You grumbled at her. </p><p>“Someone’s having a bad morning.” She teased, keeping the smirk on her face. </p><p>“It was good till you showed up.” </p><p>“Ahh Y/N, last time I checked, you were the one who approached me on this fine morning.” She purred, taking a spoonful of her porridge. The chatter around the tent seemed to lower in volume, making you think of last night, just the two of you in the tent by yourselves, you wished you would find yourself in that situation once again. “Well it's not like I had anywhere else to sit, yet you could sit with anyone here, it’s kind of sad to see a soldier of such high calibre being associated with a no-name like me.” You shot trying to recover from what she said. She let out a short sarcastic laugh in response. How could a woman so cold and intimidating be this attractive, the way she sat, held herself, spoke even, sent electricity through your veins. You scolded yourself, you’ve known her for less than 24 hours in which she also threatened to kill you but here you were. You didn’t particularly know what it was you were feeling, but whatever it was it warmed your insides like never before but you didn’t trust it.</p><p> The both of you continued to eat your breakfast in quiet, the sound of the chatter around you coming back to your senses. While you were eating, Onyankopon dropped by and reminded the both of you to make your way to the meeting after finishing with breakfast. You finished up quietly and cleaned up quickly. “Shall we?” Yelena asked, holding out her arm for you feeling hesitant, you didn't quite know what to do,  you still did not completely trust this woman, however, you craved to touch her, so reluctantly you interlaced your arm in hers. Satisfied, the woman led you to the main tent without a word. </p><p>She opened the flap of the tent as the both of you stepped inside to be greeted by Hange. “Good morning! Welcome back!” They cheered looking towards Yelena. Their gaze slowly shifted towards you, as they eyed you skeptically. “Good morning Hange, this is Y/N, they will be accompanying me from now on,” Yelena replied, her tone diplomatic and professional. “Oh, are you guys like- nevermind, sorry for intruding.” Hange replied, changing the topic mid-sentence. They gazed at you one more time before heading over to the table and setting up another chair for you. You realized how this looked to them, you were practically clinging to Yelena’s arm. You tried to slip your arm out of hers, but she firmly locked it in place and guided you to the chair beside hers, Onyankopon seated on her other side. Other people started to trickle into the tent and Yelena was in deep conversation with Onyankopon. You felt out of place, you weren’t an important soldier in terms of ranks, you were sure everyone wondered why you were there since they kept giving you skeptical glances. One man gave you a nasty scowl as he walked in and started hushing in Hanges ear, he was incredibly short, but you felt shivers of fear when he looked at you. </p><p>Soon Hange decided it was time for the meeting to begin as everyone took their seats. Yelena glanced at you from the corner of her eye, you met her gaze for a few seconds and directed it back to Hange. Yelena’s however did not falter, you felt her eyes burning into the side of your head as you attempted to ignore it and focus on Hange’s words. Hange began speaking about the current situation of the island and its resources, but not once did Yelena take her eyes off of you.</p><p>Suddenly, you felt Yelena’s hands start to creep up your thigh resting her fingertips lightly on it, your body froze at the sudden contact and your heart rate started to rise. She leaned her lips to the side of your ear as she continued to caress your thigh gently. “I’m sorry, my hands are just so cold and you’re just so warm Y/N, only if you don’t mind.” She whispered in a very low voice to ensure that no one else would hear her. You wondered how nobody else in the entire room noticed what was happening, but just as you thought so, Hange’s eyes met you, the scene looked innocent in the most non-innocent way possible. It was just Yelena whispering in your ear, which was considered acceptable to you, but Hange gave you a skeptical look. </p><p>Yelena continued to massage your thigh, her hands were very big, you watched the long slender finger grab the inside of your thigh, your body jolting in the process. You didn’t stop her, her cold fingers felt good through the fabric of your clothes. Hange's words went in one ear and out the other, none of them helped give any clarity to your internal dilemma. The others around you started to contribute to the discussion as well, Onyankopon raising a few concerns here and there. It was getting difficult to concentrate as Yelena’s hands continued to move dangerously up your thigh. You were, however, saved by the conclusion of the meeting and exhaled in relief as Yelena took her hand off of your thigh. You still felt the sensation of her hand on it, still feeling the presence of her hand scaling your thigh. </p><p>The both of you got up and made your way towards the flap of the tent behind the other attendees, Hange stayed behind, collecting paperwork. “ Excuse me Y/N, can I speak with you for a moment please?” Hange asked just as you and Yelena were about to exit the tent. You looked up Yelena as if you were asking her for a sort of permission, mentally scolding yourself for doing so. She nodded in approval and joined Onyankopon who was waiting outside of the tent for her. You made your way towards Hange, “ Yes, what is it you wanted to speak to me about?” You asked, mimicking the diplomatic tone that you had seen Yelena using earlier.  “ I don’t mean to intrude, but I have a sort of personal question to ask.” They replied. You gulped as you felt your heart start to beat fast again, this was probably something to do with the way Yelena acted with you in the meeting. “Are-are you and Yelena, I mean, is Yelena your lover?” they asked. You were shocked by the question even though you expected it to be about her. “Oh, no it’s not like that, I’ve not known her for very long, just good friends.” You replied, not even knowing what was spewing out of your mouth at this point. “Oh, I’m sorry for that, please excuse me.” They replied the awkward tension in the tent made you want to disappear. “Oh, it's ok, don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around.” You replied, trying to get out of there as soon as possible. Hange shot you a small smile and you reciprocated it uncomfortably and jolted out of the tent, bumping into Yelena’s back. </p><p>“Oh Y/N, you’re back, what was that about?” She asked, turning around to catch you, both her arms squeezing your triceps so you would gain your balance. “Oh, it was nothing, just wanted to know more about me, that's all.” You replied. “Oh”, she said, her confident coldness faltering into anger for just a second. “Let me walk you to your tent, I’ll meet you once again at lunch, I promised Onyankopon I would meet him.” She stated bluntly. You started to walk with her towards the direction of your tent. </p><p>“So how did you find the meeting, did it solve all your oh so crippling internal battle.” She asked. </p><p>“Not in the least, it was quite dull, to be honest.” You said. </p><p>“I thought so, I’m glad I brought you along, if I may be honest, I only brought you along for company, it would’ve been hell if I had to sit through that entire meeting without your presence.” <br/>By the time she finished her sentence, you had already reached your tent. But, before you could even formulate any response to her sudden declaration she started to speak. “I’ll see you at lunch in a few hours, my little moral crisis,” she said and shot you a tantalizing smirk. She walked away, leaving you stunned.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello loves, I am so so so so sorry for not updating this story in such a long time, I've been swamped with school and been struggling with my health a bit lately. I want to thank everyone for the support I've been getting so far with this story, It really helps with motivation. Once again I am so sorry for not updating sooner, I will try to update a little more regularly from now on. Enjoy :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You opened the flap of the tent and walked into the cool dark haven. The morning had been quite eventful, but not in the way you expected it to be. You thought you would finally obtain answers, but instead, your mind was wandering around this perplexing woman. She was taking too much space in your mind and you had only known her for about two days, maybe it was because she was the first person who noticed you. You felt the presence of her cold fingers on your thigh as you recalled the meeting. What was even said in that meeting? You could not remember at all, the only thing that existed was her. “Yelena”, you whispered under your breath, “Yelena”. The sound of her name rolling off the tip of your tongue, you recalled her when you conversed on the ship. The woman was so mysterious and perplexing that it caused your mind to spin, but you were drunk on the feeling, you loved the way it made you feel. The feeling made your stomach churn in the most intoxicating way. </p><p>You flopped onto your unmade bed, the cool sheets felt good on your face, you didn’t need more stress upon your “moral crisis”  as Yelena liked to refer to you as. To be honest, after meeting the people on Paradis, your urge to side with them increased to an extent you’d never expected. Being deployed to different war areas before, you saw war zones, the lives torn apart and the people, yet you could never save them. A coward, that's what you were, for not doing something sooner, you were selfish, all you wanted was a death to escape towering expectations. Did you really want to help Paradis, or was this another way of escaping? By being a traitor to Marley, you were as good as dead to your family, you could care less about the implications of your actions, all that wealth they had would act as a safety cushion. </p><p>There was still an hour left before lunch, and in all honesty, you didn’t want to be alone, in this dark tent, A few days ago, this would’ve been the thing you longed for the most, just some time to yourself, but now you couldn’t stand it. To stop the overwhelming discomfort from purging your head you decided to spend the hour at the shores of the beach, there would be people around, but you decided that it wasn't necessary to associate with them. At least you wouldn’t be alone with your stupid head. </p><p>You made your way out of the tent, the sun was sickeningly bright and you instantly wished you’d just stayed inside your cool, dark, oasis. You stood still outside of the tent, trying to regain your composure, it was a fairly nice day, in contrast to when you arrived here. The soldiers were walking around, they seemed to be completely comfortable, yet it seemed so unsettling. You shook your head, the whole point of leaving your tent was to take your mind off of your thoughts. The shore was nearby, you walked in silence, taking in your surroundings, you couldn't believe the events of the morning, you hated the fact that the only things in your head were either Yelena or war, was there seriously nothing else to life?<br/>
When you arrived at the sandy shores, you saw soldiers both from the Marleyan volunteers and the Eldians playing in the water, or just sitting in groups around the beach. You seated yourself in the warm sand, rolling up your pants and taking your jacket off to bask in the warm grains. You closed your eyes and relaxed, focusing on every single grain of sand in contact with your skin to avoid your mind wandering to unwelcome thoughts. </p><p>“Hey there, I thought I’d find you here,” said a voice. You turned your head and opened your eyes to see commander Hange seated next to you. You were taken back, why were people randomly approaching you they rarely sought you out. “Can I help you, commander?” You asked in a firm voice. “Nothing, I just wanted to get to know you, that's all,” they said, returning deepening their gaze into the horizon. You had to think this through, why would an Eldian from the island, let alone the commander of the scouts ever decide to spend part of their morning with you. You thought about it, it had to be because of your so-called “connection” with Yelena, they wanted information. It was in plain sight, of course, they couldn’t just trust a woman who says she’s here to help, no matter how many people she kills to prove it. So now the commander is trying to confirm her claims. </p><p>“Do you visit the ocean a lot, commander?” You asked you wanted to gain their trust, however, you didn’t know if you were doing this to gain information for yourself or if it was for Yelena. Whatever the reason, making friends with the commander wouldn’t hurt.</p><p> “I do, a year ago, we finally made it here after dreaming of it for so long and I guess it’s the fruit of our labour” </p><p>The commander had a dreamy look in their eyes, it was like they were seeing the ocean for the first time all over again, however, there was pain at the corner of their eyes. “However, we lost too many along the way, there...there are people who never got to see this, and every time I look at the ocean, I think about how much they would’ve loved it.” They said, pain constricting the words that came out of their mouth. </p><p>Pangs of guilt started striking your heart, those people died undoubtedly due to Marley’s actions. The both of you sat there, in silence for a while, being lulled by the soft crashing of the waves. It was comforting to spend time with the commander, even through all this pain and suffering, they managed to keep a front for all of their soldiers and you envied that. </p><p>“So, Yelena, that woman gives me the creeps.” They said lightheartedly, breaking the silence. </p><p>“Oh- well she is pretty mysterious, to be frank, I haven’t really known her that long, in fact, I only met her properly yesterday.” </p><p>“Really? That’s odd, she seems to cling to you quite profusely, I thought you two had a history together.” Hange said the expression on their face was as though they were trying to process some extremely peculiar concepts. </p><p>“Enjoying yourself?” Said a cold voice, the warm ambience of the atmosphere was suddenly sliced by the sharp voice behind them. You cocked your head to the side to see Yelena’s figure, towering over both you and the commander. You felt your heartbeat quicken loudly in your ears, muting the lapping of the waves in the distance. “What a pleasant surprise,” Hange said enthusiastically. Yelena did not return the attitude, she glared displeasing at the commander and ignored them but kept her eyes on theirs. “Y/N, I was under the impression that you would be joining me for lunch today,” Yelena said coldly, not lifting her gaze off of the commander. You sighed and got up nonchalantly, Yelena’s eyebrow twitched as you did so. “Well then-commander, I guess I’ll see you around, it was a pleasure to spend time with you.” You said sweetly, the commander smiled back at you as you began to walk towards the food tent. Yelena followed swiftly behind you, your mind barely processing what was happening. She quickly caught up to you, you couldn’t believe that you lost track of time for lunch, you really didn’t want to anger this woman. She didn’t seem practically infuriated with you, however, you never knew what could happen. So you quietly thought about what to say or what to do as the two of you made your way to the lunch area in silence.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It has been so long since I've updated this, I am so sorry it's just really hard to update regularly with my current situation. I will try to update whenever I can and I am so happy that people are reading this story. I apologize if this chapter is a bit poorly written, but I hope you still enjoy it, love you all :)</p>
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    <p>Yelena led you silently to the lunch area, the walk felt like it took an eternity. You gaped at her tall figure as she walked, slightly in front of you. The way she carried herself made you want to crumble to her will and do whatever she asked but that feeling clashed with the overwhelming desire to go against her will as well. Being in her presence was so perplexing it was something you never experienced before. </p><p>The both of you finally reached the lunch area that was bustling with both Marleyan and Eldian soldiers. Never once in a million years would you have thought this was a sight you would witness. “Wait here, I’ll be right back,” Yelena said as you approached the lunch tent. You waited there in silence, as your mind wandered back to your conversation with Hange. The commander was a strong person and you could not help but feel responsible for the pain they had to endure. Yelena was right, interacting and talking with the Eldians was definitely causing you to go soft for them. Your mind continued to wander as you waited for Yelena, after a few minutes you saw her returning with two sandwiches in her hand. “Follow me, if you don’t mind I have a better place we can go.”</p><p>You took the sandwich from her hand and started to follow her. She really was a beautiful woman, yet her beauty was cold, her hair was yellow and soft and she had pale skin. Her beauty could’ve been described as delicate, but her sharp jawline and unsettling deep brown eyes made her look as though she was carved and built by God himself. You could stare at her all day, her utterly destructive beauty sent electric pangs through your veins.</p><p>After walking for a while, you’d finally reached your destination. Yelena led you to a cliff overlooking the ocean, the one where you saw commander Hange for the first time. Yelena walked over to a luscious patch of grass and then sat down, motioning for you to do the same. Stiffly, you walked towards and seated yourself in front of her.</p><p>“So, how was your date with the commander?” She asked you and took a bite out of her food.</p><p>“What now, are you jealous or something, you could hardly call it one.” You replied nonchalantly</p><p>Yelena gave you an unreadable look as you decided to start eating your sandwich as well.</p><p>“Whatever you say y/n”</p><p>The both of you sat there, not uttering a word as the waves crashed in the background. After a few moments of silence, Yelena finally spoke.</p><p>“I just want to let you know that you must be careful around the commander, even though we are working together for the time being, you must act with caution, or else things might go wrong.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that, who do you think I am, plus why are you getting so bent out of shape over a minuscule interaction, either you’re scheming some big plan or you’re just plain jealous for whatever reason.”</p><p>Her eyes met yours teasingly and she raised her eyebrow in amusement.</p><p>“Ramble all you want, just be cautious.”</p><p>You were almost sure she was jealous over this petty little incident. The way she stormed in on you and Hange and the way she started acting all odd and out of character after were very indicative of it. She got jealous over you, that thought made your mind turn to liquid, everything about her was severing your ability to think and function normally. You finished the rest of your sandwich in silence and studied Yelena’s face. Her eyes were deep in thought, distracted, and exceedingly lost. You wished you could know what was happening in that mind because no doubt that she was extraordinarily brilliant and you just wanted to bask in her brilliance, whatever that meant.</p><p>You scooted over to the woman and waved your hand over her face. “Yelena?” You said softly.<br/>She shuddered to the sound of her name and blinked back to you. “ What, am I a bore or something?” You asked, even though this woman intimidated you, you liked bantering with her.<br/>“Hardly the case y/n, I’ve just got a lot on my mind at the moment.” She replied diplomatically. You were curious, what was she thinking about, could it be certain plans about the war, or was she hiding something.</p><p>She shifted closer towards you and you felt the warmth radiating off of her. “May I?” She asked, gesturing towards your lap. Your heart started leaping in your chest, the way her eyes seemed to be deceptively soft. Caught in the moment, you nodded rigidly. She slowly moved and laid her head on your thigh. It felt like sparks were flying at that contact, the electricity coursing through the point where her head met your leg. A million thoughts jumbled through your head, where were you supposed to put your hands, what were you even supposed to do?</p><p>Yelena smiled up at you, “What are you so nervous about darling?” She asked with a smile. She knew exactly what she was doing and was fully taking advantage of it. She lifted her arm and gently grazed your jaw and chuckled. You did not know how to respond, Yelena was literally laying on your lap and your brain was short-circuiting. You decided to put your hands on the grass behind you and take some deep breaths. Every cell on your body was on fire, this was not normal and should not be happening, yet you wanted to stay like this for eternity. Every single encounter you had with this woman played in your head on repeat. What was this feeling and why did you love and hate it so much.</p><p>You waited for Yelena to make some snarky remark and start teasing you again, but she didn’t. She truly seemed to be enjoying the moment herself. You examined her visage again, her eyes were closed. That cold beauty seemed to subside and everything seemed to be incongruously soft. You wished you could stay in this moment forever, in the grass, on this cliff, with this woman.</p>
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